The Aardvark Speaks : essence, effervescence, obscurity. Established 2002. A weblog by Horst Prillinger. ISSN 1726-5320

August 05, 2007


RADIO DJ: Have a popsicle. The icebox just broke down and they're melting all over the place. You want one?

KURT: No, no, no, thanks. Listen, uh...

RADIO DJ: Have a popsicle.

I recently discovered that ice cream is a pretty vile substance. Not while it's cold; except at a few Viennese ice cream parlours who have gone from making ice cream to robbing tourists, cold ice cream is usually quite heavenly. But recent experience, in which half a box of vanilla ice cream melted due to me getting old and forgetful, I realized that ice cream becomes progressively more disgusting as it gets warmer.

I mean who would have guessed how the taste of ice cream is miraculously transformed after it has changed from a frozen to a liquid state?

Anyway that ice cream had melted, and like Wolfman Jack in the movie quoted above, I didn't want to let it go to waste and decided to eat it before it had become a pool of salmonella.

Bad idea. I know now why ice cream is generally considered to be bad for your weight and the rest of your organism. For one, it's sweeter than anything I've ever tasted. My guess is that the sugar content must be about three or four times that of Coca Cola. It's also unbelievably greasy. Like eating a block of butter, only a bit fatter.

I managed to eat only two spoonfuls before I gave up. It was, in short, some of the most disgusting stuff I had ever eaten. And having thus become aware of the real sugar and fat content of ice cream, I seriously considered quitting ice cream altogether.

For a while.

But even if my exact future relationship to ice cream hasn't been determined yet, the whole thing has taught me a lesson or two.

Posted by Horst on August 5, 2007 08:53 PM to creatures great & small | Tell-a-friend
nora said on August 6, 2007 07:50 PM:

Should have had that popsicle!

Jann said on August 7, 2007 01:50 AM:

I had an experience once with ice cream that (apparently) contained so many stabilizing ingredients that it didn't even melt when it "melted." Some liquid did leak out, but the rest of the "ice cream" essentially retained the shape of the carton even at room temperature. This was an inexpensive store brand, and I never bought it again.

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