The Aardvark Speaks : essence, effervescence, obscurity. Established 2002. A weblog by Horst Prillinger. ISSN 1726-5320

June 24, 2007


Recently, a colleague at work gave me a bottle of Emotion. "Here," she said, "I got this for you."

Emotion, incidentally, is this drink they sell here. It is like water, only with some sugar and a choice of essential oils or flavors. The bottle she gave me was pear & balm flavour. The label said it was to have a soothing and calming effect.

I am allergic to pear, and I have a general dislike of sweetened drinks that pretend to be healthy when very obviously they are not. My blood pressure may be slightly above average, but I did not remember having acted in a way that may have necessitated a soothing and calming drink.

"Um," I said, looking at the bottle that she held out to me. Then I said, "Why?"

I suppose it's this kind of reaction that has some people believe that I am suffering from Asperger's and am positively unable to emotionally connect to other people. At any rate she looked at me in disbelief because I had very obviously given the wrong answer.

"You could say thank you," she said without answering my question.

This puzzled me to no end. There, in front of me, was a bottle full of stuff I didn't like, was likely allergic to, and had never even remotely asked for. And she was expecting me to take it and thank her for it?

It was a particularly hot day, so I decided to take the path of least resistance and take the bottle. I said, "Thank you, I guess."

I drank the Emotion later that day. It tasted pretty horrible, in a way that makes you wonder how they are able to sell such a product in the first place. However, the soothing and calming effect must have worked because despite my increasing disgust, I emptied the whole bottle. Luckily, it was artificial enough not to cause me any allergic reactions. Subsequently, I took a vow never to touch this kind of vile liquid ever again.

The next day, Mig blogged about his experience with Emotion, and from his story I gathered that my colleague had most likely got the Emotion free with her lunch sandwich and had probably given it to me because she wasn't too fond of pear & balm either.

It was one of these evil schemes that you just have to admire.

Posted by Horst on June 24, 2007 04:36 PM to my so-called life | Tell-a-friend
Jann said on June 26, 2007 03:18 PM:

I'll have my water neat please! No added ingredients necessary.

Is this Römerquelle's answer to Propel Fitness Water? I wouldn't use either of these products, but then, unlike most people, I don't like Coke or Pepsi either, which means I'm not a good judge of what beverages other people might like.

Maybe your colleague isn't either; after all she (apparently) had to carry it back from the sandwich place. Maybe she drank her free bottle first and liked it so much that she bought another one for you. Probably not, but it could have happened that way.

Jann said on June 26, 2007 03:26 PM:

I just noticed that I used the word "either" three times in the above comment. At least once too often, but too late to change it!

Richard said on June 26, 2007 04:49 PM:

I am actually quite fond of the Emotion stuff. When it's chilled well, it's quite refreshing. When it's luke-warm, it's worse than everything else.

But I'm just as appalled as you are of your colleague's conniving scheming.

nora said on June 26, 2007 04:49 PM:

this flavored mineral water has been available in austria for a while, it started out with voeslauer balance around at least since 2000. i actually liked the original flavor, but during my last visit to austria was slightly overwhelmed by the offerings they have now. and even though i like the stuff, i generically call it monkey pee.
there's nothing here in the us that would compare to it, though;, well, maybe all those new tea varieties and maybe vitamin water, but monkye pee is a little fizzy and way more subtle in flavor (artifical or not).
talking about subtle: first aphrodisian incense, now bottled emotion ...

Jann said on June 27, 2007 09:59 PM:

@ Horst: Anybody who read and remembered your "New! Improved!" post (1 August 2003), and I remembered it well enough to look in "Cursed" to find the date, would have reason to believe that you *like* things with artificial pear flavoring! And I thououghly enjoyed and totally agreed with that post, btw. Anytime some company "improves " their product, I end up driving all over creation trying to buy up all the "unimproved" version left, and then when that's gone, I spend months trying to find a satisfactory substitute.

Andreas said on June 27, 2007 11:13 PM:

What, people get the impression that you're unable to emotion-ally connect to them? Tee hee.

dieter said on June 28, 2007 04:28 PM:

I just reread your article on New! Improved! (Thanks Jann).
Considering Horst's blogging rhythm of this year, I think he could change back to evanescence ;-)

Horst said on July 2, 2007 04:48 PM:

Jann, I like the artificial pear flavour of Twinni, but I'm not particularly fond of natural pear flavour, especially as it brings up unpleasant memories of allergic reactions.

Jann said on July 3, 2007 09:58 AM:

I understand. But you know, you make this pear flavored popsicle half sound so intriguingly delicious that as I was driving around in the 103 degree (about 39.5 C) heat yesterday, I was thinking it would be nice to have one.

dieter said on July 4, 2007 10:49 AM:

@Jann. Make sure it is well cooled ;-)

nora said on July 4, 2007 07:43 PM:

re twinni - i always saved the green half for last!

Jann said on July 4, 2007 11:38 PM:

I decided there are two types of people in the world, those who eat what they like best first, and those who save the best for last. I fall into the latter category, but with a popsicle, I don't know (and I was actually thinking about this); the part you decide to eat last might melt before you can enjoy it!

nora said on July 9, 2007 03:04 PM:

point taken. it helps holding it by the stick, though.

Jann said on July 10, 2007 08:52 AM:

Yeah, by the stick, definitely. And you open out the wrapper and hold it underneath, so in case the whole thing falls off the stick, as it sometimes does, it won't land on the ground - a disappointing thing for a child...or an adult!

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