The Aardvark Speaks : essence, effervescence, obscurity. Established 2002. A weblog by Horst Prillinger. ISSN 1726-5320

October 26, 2006


I once read somewhere that men will only ever engage in friendship or indeed any kind of social interaction with women that they would want to have sex with (regardless of whether sex is an actual or only very remote possibility). Basically, what this boils down to is that what men really want from women is sex, and that friendship (or indeed any other kind of social interaction) is little more than an act of compensation when sex is impossible, unfeasible or socially unacceptable.

I always thought that this theory was bollocks, little more than one of those "theories" that you "read somewhere", but recent events have led me to rethink my stance on the matter. I am now pretty much convinced that it is actually true.

Posted by Horst on October 26, 2006 03:10 PM to my so-called life | Tell-a-friend

Lucid said on October 28, 2006 03:21 PM:

Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not!
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.

Horst said on October 28, 2006 03:49 PM:

Hm. I think the point is slightly different -- it's not that a man eventually _will_ have sex with the woman in question, but rather that he will stop seeing a woman if he does not _want_ to have sex with her.

Jann said on October 28, 2006 05:43 PM:

I've heard it said that men have relationships so they can have sex, and women have sex so they can have relationships. An oversimplification, but there's a lot of truth there.

But you may be right Horst; it may be that men are only "friends" with women to whom they feel sexually attracted. I've seen these friendships go on for years, though, even decades, with no sex. Hope dies slowly in the human breast!

dieter said on October 30, 2006 10:04 AM:

Horst, I do not think that you are right about the dialogue of Harry and Sally. Although they do end up having sex and becoming a couple instead of friends - that was the Hollywood ending to be expected to the film - this particular dialogue exactly says that friendship between men and women is always infested by the man WANTING to have sex with her.
Having said this, who says that a man only befriends women he finds sexually attractive? It could also be the other way round. Maybe, a man cannot be friends with a woman without ending up wanting to have sex with her. Same problem, different causality. Well, one thing never changes: We are all animals. The Bloodhound Gang was right about this point.

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